Barron Steffen is a student on the spiritual path of Siddha Yoga, a big band crooner and a widower. He has also been a big wave surfer, a 1980s Italian pop singer and an award-winning elementary school teacher. He has transitioned from the elementary school classroom to his company, The Yoga of Mindset, where he teaches children and adults how to use their thoughts. Dr. Seana Steffen, his late wife, founded the Restorative Leadership Institute – her life’s work in service to the possibility of a just and sustainable world continues there. His new book, “The Final Gift of the Beloved: Her Disappearance – 13 Days,” is the story of one man’s sudden and astonishing brush with devastation after his wife dies in a car accident.

In the Preface, Barron Steffen describes “The Final Gift of the Beloved” as a love story disguised as a tragedy. Because Siddha Yoga is a big part of the book, he explains that it is a spiritual path; “a philosophy, not a religion, and it includes people from many different faiths.” It is not his intent to promote any specific spiritual path, because everyone’s journey is different, but for him, it is a significant part of his experience because without it, he would have never met Seana, let alone had gotten through the aftermath of her death. In Hindu tradition, a person is mourned for thirteen days and on the thirteenth, during a ceremony and celebration of life, the blessings invoked serve as a final release for anything that may be holding that person to the physical world. The book is divided into these thirteen days, with subsections, and consists of his experiences and revelations during those painful first days as well as what he learns along the way.

Regardless of faith or personal beliefs, grief is universal – this is one of the main themes present in “The Final Gift of the Beloved.” This book is one man’s experience in dealing with his wife’s death and how Siddha Yoga helped him through the most painful moments. Using beautiful poetic language,  “…my sense of ‘I’ drifted through my awareness as aimlessly as the sunlight that was filtering through the branches of the trees outside the parking lot in front of me,” the reader is witness to his grief and his healing. The story starts off as  an examination of their relationship, as told through flashbacks, and the narrative finally moves along during Days Five and Six: The Mortuary, when he finally goes in to identify her body. In the end, he just wants to share the most important lesson he learned, what Seana would want for him and everyone :“May you remember your purpose for being alive.” One of the standout chapters is Day One: The Drive, when reality hits him and he describes the moment as grief being an emotion that all creatures share. He was in excruciating pain, which included howls and cries: “From this vantage point, I saw myself to be simply another living thing grieving the loss of its life-mate.” Learning about other cultures and beliefs regarding mourning and grieving rituals is important because it unites us as human beings. It reminds us that we are more similar than we realize because we share in the human experience. “The Final Gift of the Beloved” is a thought-provoking and inspiring memoir of one man’s tragic loss and recovery and is recommended for readers who appreciate honest and insightful spiritual guidance.

“So then, I wonder, which is it? What is more real-appearing or disappearing, birth or death? Who can possibly say for sure which one is the truer reality and which is the dream?”

*The author received a copy of this book for an honest review. The views and opinions expressed here belong solely to her.