Book Review: This Kind of Man by Sean Murphy

A Stark Portrait of Modern Masculinity

This Kind of Man offers an unvarnished look at life in 21st-century America, unearthing the complicated, tender, and wild truth of what it is to be a man across generations and relationships. These stories dig into the pressures and tensions of contemporary life—and the ways men grapple with them, often unsuccessfully.

Themes include marriage, fatherhood, aggression, alcoholism, gender expectations, generational backlash, and the looming dread of mortality. Far from excusing toxic behavior, Murphy places it in the context of a culture that thrives on false narratives and pits overworked, underpaid people against each other in a zero-sum capitalist game.

A System Built on False Notions of Manhood

Murphy shows how traditional ideas of masculinity are deliberately instilled from the very beginning—ensuring compliance in a system where most are excluded from the start. These dysfunctions are passed down like an inheritance, with every cliché—from fighting and drinking to distrust and intolerance—acting as a carefully built trap that hinders solidarity, empathy, and self-love. (Barnes & Noble, 2025)

Standout Essays

• The Letter My Father Never Wrote Me
• No Tengo A Nadie – Chronicles the life of an undocumented man: “The choices he’s forced himself to make have given him the chance for a real life, but in return have robbed him of his youth. And, above all, he understands this: No tengo a nadie—I have no one.”
• Now’s the Time –  The narrator is reminiscing about life while on his way to a life changing event. An eye-opening and unexpected point of view (inner dialogue) of a contentious person.
• This Kind of Man
• Our Vietnam

Review

Sean Murphy delivers an intense, intimate exploration of masculinity—burdened by history, shaped by family, softened by love, and often stumbling through misunderstood expectations. His writing is sharp yet lyrical, capable of both gut-punch realism and tender introspection: “No son truly grows up until he grows out of his old man’s shadow.”

The essays move fluidly across generations, tackling legacies, silences, and the quiet revolutions redefining strength. There are no easy answers—only an honest reckoning with vulnerability and the search for meaning in a disconnected world.

With emotional precision, Murphy captures fleeting moments of clarity, aching regret, and rare connection. This Kind of Man is raw, thoughtful, and beautifully written—a necessary addition to the ongoing conversation about masculinity and identity.

“All these people holding on for the one thing no one was guaranteed, no matter how often they went to church or how many people they managed, no matter how big their houses or small their waistline: time.”

*Thank you to Morgan Ryan/Mark Seferian for the gifted Advanced Reader Copy for review consideration. I have not received any compensation for this review and all views and opinions expressed are my own.