Kanchan Bhaskar was born and brought up in New Delhi, India. She holds a master’s degree in social work from Delhi University and a postgraduate certificate in personnel management and industrial relations. She moved to the US in 2000. She works in the corporate world, mentoring, counselling, and coaching employees at all levels in the industry. She is also now a certified advocate for domestic violence victims in the state of Illinois and is a volunteer speaker, mentor, and coach for victims and survivors. Her new book “Leaving: How I Set Myself Free from an Abusive Marriage” is an inspiring memoir of a woman who reclaims her power and finds the strength to leave an abusive relationship. (Kanchan Bhaskar, 2023)
“Leaving: How I Set Myself Free from an Abusive Marriage” – Raised by two loving parents in New Delhi, India, Kanchan Bhaskar has always been taught that marriage means companionship, tenderness, and mutual respect—so when she enters into an arranged marriage, this is the kind of partnership she anticipates with her new, seemingly wonderful, husband. The story is told in chronological order and begins in 1980-1981 when, as a new wife, Kanchan is starting a new life with her new husband and his family, all strangers to her, but is still naively hopeful that it will be full of wonder and romance. She quickly discovers that his warmth is deceptive—that the man beneath the bright, charming façade is actually a narcissistic, alcoholic, and violent man. Kanchan pleads with her husband to seek help for his issues, but he refuses. Trapped in a nightmare, and now with children to protect, she tries numerous times to leave him but Indian law is not on her side. It is not until many years later, when the family of five moves from India to the United States, that Kanchan is presented with a real opportunity to leave him—and she takes it. It is divided into eighteen chapters, including A Love Story, My Safe Haven, and Coming Together.
Kanchan Bhaskar’s memoir is not just about domestic abuse. In the Preface, she writes that “the story does not stop with gaining my freedom but describes my continuing journey on the path of spirituality.” The abuse she endured is just one part of her story; the whole is more about her personal journey to self reliance. She perseveres against all odds and it does not define who she is now. The abuse details, while disturbing, are brief and not too graphic, just enough to shed light on her tragic experiences. It is always interesting to learn about other cultures, in this case, Indian culture, especially the process of selecting a partner in an arranged marriage. This proves the universality of the human condition regardless of race or culture. The language is easy to understand and often poetic “I felt like a free bird, seeing myself as a white swan gliding high in the infinite sky – who had no boundaries, no limits, no shackles, no fear, no apprehensions…” With a story that flows easily through the pages, readers are witness to her journey from abuse to spiritual awakening. “Leaving: How I Set Myself Free from an Abusive Marriage” is an empowering story of a woman who even during her bleakest moments, found the strength to move on. It is recommended for readers who enjoy inspirational memoirs by strong women.
“I wish there was one formula for all of us, but there isn’t. The formula that worked for me and liberated me was essentially powered by my three strong beliefs, my tools, and my mantras. Belief in self. Belief in Universe. Belief in spirituality.”
*The author received a copy of this book for an honest review. The views and opinions expressed here belong solely to her.
Excerpt available.
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