Book Review: ‘Untangling: A Memoir of Psychoanalysis’ by Joan Peters
What It’s Really Like to Be in Psychoanalysis—From the Patient’s Chair

If you’ve ever wondered what actually happens during psychoanalysis—or what it feels like to unravel years of emotional knots on a therapist’s couch—Joan Peters‘ “Untangling: A Memoir of Psychoanalysis” offers a rare, intimate glimpse into that world.

Unlike most writing on psychoanalysis, which often comes from the perspective of clinicians, “Untangling” is told from the inside out. Peters chronicles her decades-long analytic journey with striking vulnerability, courage, and clarity. This journey consisted of two different analysts: Lane when she was 28 and Kristi when she was 67. While Lane was helpful, she remained impersonal and impartial. Kristi actually got to know her because she used relational psychoanalysis, a psychoanalytic approach that emphasizes the importance of the relationship between the therapist and patient in the therapeutic process. Peters brings readers into the room with her, detailing the subtle shifts, long silences, and emotionally charged breakthroughs that define the therapeutic process.

Highlights:
Chapter 7 – Schizoid – Peters admits to Lane that from ages 14 to 19, she had lived an alternate existence because when she was 14, she started hearing voices. These voices guided her every action.
Chapter 4 – Lane Explains Me to Me – Focuses on her family background, memories of her as a two year old seeing her mother preparing the morphine syringes for her dad who was dying of cancer. This explained her nightmares about syringes and being given injections with poisons. Two months after talking about this, her needle nightmares ended. That’s when Joan discovered the complicated issue of subconsciousness and how it affects our lives.

At its core, honesty is what makes this memoir so powerful. Peters doesn’t offer easy answers or dramatic resolutions—instead, she shows how transformation unfolds slowly, often painfully, through the act of being deeply seen and heard. It reveals how analysts’ methodology differ and how patients respond differently with age and life experience. Her writing is vivid and lyrical, making even the most abstract aspects of psychoanalysis feel grounded and human. “Sitting back in her chair, patient as a fisherman in a placid lake, she listened, questioned, interjected while I mostly avoided the story, as if its invisible tentacles might entangle (or strangle) me.”

Overall, “Untangling” is a courageous and necessary contribution to the literature on mental health. It demystifies a process often veiled in secrecy and offers an authentic voice to the patient experience. For readers curious about psychoanalysis—or the complexities of healing—this memoir is both enlightening and deeply moving.

“My question back in Vermont had loosened a scab; now the wound bled, unstoppable. She had offered me silence, and I had refused her gift. Now, at times, I felt I might drown in her words.”

*The author was contacted for an honest review of this book and received a copy. The views and opinions expressed here belong solely to her.

Related post: Inside the Analyst’s Chair: Joan Peters’ Raw and Riveting Journey in ‘Untangling’